17.5 weeks pregnant

Update updates!

17.5 weeks pregnant now, 18 weeks this weekend. Time is SERIOUSLY flying with this pregnancy. No time to sit around and wait and wonder and stress, what with Xander and school work and Jude and everything else.

First off, my thyroid functions have normalised without treatment or medications since about 3 weeks ago. So all's good there. I've seen the OB and been given the okay to be under the care of the team midwives. So yay! The endocrinologist has said all look's good, just have to monitor periodically later this pregnancy and after birth. I'll be going for another thyroid ultrasound and blood test next month to make sure it's all okay but we're not expecting any dramas there :) I'm a happy bird!

The other big news is that I've stopped breastfeeding Xander and we are officially weaned, 2 months before his 2nd birthday. I told the story in the post below.

I felt that he would be perfectly fine without my breastmilk for a few months until after Baby E is born when I would pump for him to drink from a glass. I desperately needed to seek all possible ways to improve how I was feeling and weaning was my last resort.

I was sick and exhausted and my body cried out for help and relief from the pressures of pregnancy and breastfeeding at the same time. I knew that when pregnant and/or breastfeeding, the fetus and the nursling comes first and the mother's body knows that. So they would not be deprived of any nutrients, but MY body would be. Which I felt it acutely throughout this pregnancy while I was still breastfeeding. All the research that I've done told me without a doubt that there was no need to wean just because of pregnancy and many go on to breastfeed older children throughout and after pregnancy. I DO still trust that and really wanted that initially. But I also know to listen closely to my body, to respect its needs and to give it what it needs to thrive and to be healthy. I tried to increase my fluid, protein, and healthy fats intake to help my body do what it needs to do. But I was so sick I just couldn't do it.

I recognised that yes, Xander will benefit from breastfeeding for as long as possible. But he will also benefit immensely from having a healthy mother who is not completely drained and depleted of resources and energy all day everyday. So I made a choice that I believed (and still do believe) was the best for me, him, Baby E and our whole family.

I felt some guilt those first few days. Then within 2 days, I felt a energy shift in my body and I felt my old self come back. Energy, vitality, joy for life. I could be a present mother and wife, I could concentrate on my studies at night. So my guilt went completely away and I knew I made the right choice FOR US. Not saying that everyone else should wean during pregnancy of course. Just that everyone should listen to their bodies and not ignore the wisdom of the bodies we live in.

I knew that one day, I will tell Xander the story of how he weaned, and he will learn the precious lesson of the importance of both parties' needs in a relationship, no matter what the relationship.

I learned, through all my readings and deep contemplations, that I have given Xander the VERY BEST of me since before he was conceived. All my youth, good health, nutritional stores, everything. And I kept giving until now. I decided that I needed to choose, and I chose to be fair. To be fair to the little life growing inside me, completely dependent on me for every sliver of nutrition he/she gets. Every cell that multiplies, every organ that grows, every muscle that develops, depends entirely on me. I owe it to he/she to give my best too. And to do that, I had to make sure I am at my best again. And this is one step. One great big step forward.

I am looking forward to Baby E arriving earth side in March next year, to my milk coming in again, and to giving my babies the abundance of nutrition that my body has been designed to provide. No one will miss out on anything, because mama is here to provide. I will make sure of that as much as is within my power.

Am I sad that my breastfeeding relationship with Xander has ended? Yes. Guilty? No. I can't be. I can't let myself be. I know I did everything I could and have done more than most people could in this aspect. I would not have let it go as easily if this happened a year ago. But truth is, it's okay. I know it's okay now. He's not a baby anymore.

Bonus? I got my sexy mojo back and the husband is enjoying reaping the benefits of a set of boobs that no longer leaks ;) Oh and I of course!


So anyway. Enough with the TMI. Back to updates :p

Here's the belly at just 14 weeks:

At the rate it's growing, I'll be positively HUGE come March.

Our next ultrasound has been scheduled for 26 October. It will be the 20 week one, and our last for this pregnancy. And we will also be finding out if Baby E is an Everett or Evie. 2 more weeks to go and I'm patiently counting down the days. I REALLY want to know!

I've got exams coming up in 3-4 weeks, on the 2nd and 9th of October. After which I have been granted a 1 year intermission from my studies and don't go back to uni again until March 2014. I'm looking forward to a break. To being able to rest and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy, to spend quality time with the son and the husband, to being able to enjoy the first year of E's babyhood without worrying about deadlines and exams. For now, it's back to the books to get through the exams!

I doubt I'll be back again till then, so see ya! Oh except maybe to update after the ultrasound ;)