Belated 23 months

Hey there little one,

I know I'm already 2 weeks behind on your 23 month post and your 2nd birthday is in 2 weeks!!! How did the time fly by so quickly?!

I guess this will have to do. See, the thing is, so much has been happening with you and I've been busy trying my best to be present, and to actually be there for you physically, instead of worrying about documenting everything. It feels like the right thing to do, but I don't know if it really is. I can only trust my instincts, and trust that you would rather have mama's full attention than to have more of these posts to look back on when you are older. Not that you would actually remember all of the times we are spending together these days as you grow older, but I hope somewhere, deep in the recesses of your memories, you'll remember.

I think when you actually turn 2, I want to look forward. Look towards the future that awaits you and us as a family. So I'll take this chance to reminisce and to look back at everything that I never want to forget about you as a little one, who is not quite 2 yet.

I never want to forget the way you make us giggle and smile when you speak. The way you pronounce your words become more and more accurate with each passing day, and soon we will no longer get to hear you say "not yucker" (snot sucker) or "yeep" (sheep) or "koyayaya" (koala) or "ter meh meh meh" (watermelon). We are not in any hurry to correct your pronunciations, because we know that in no time you would be speaking perfectly. There's no rush. In the meantime, we'll just giggle and smile. But don't think that all your words are mispronounced. You are stunningly adept at picking up sounds and reproducing them and most (at least 80%) of your vocabulary is perfectly understandable with impressive pronunciations. Which makes the little words that you mispronounce even more endearing.

I never want to forget the way you love to describe everything you see. You know most of the usual colours you see around you - blue, red, yellow, orange, pink, purple, green, brown, black, white, grey - and you love describing everything you see around you in terms of its colours. Daddy's grey glasses, daddy's orange glasses, mummy's brown glasses, daddy's yellow shirt, brown doggie, green bottle, purple bell, blue pants, etc. Besides describing things in colours, you like to use words such as big, small, wet, dirty, and heavy too. I love watching your mind work tirelessly to make sense of the world around you, to give things colour, to feel and experience the things you see and touch everyday.

I never want to forget how you have no fear and no restraint in expressing your emotions and feelings at this age. As you get older, you will learn to control your emotions and to express your feelings more subtly, and only at appropriate times and only to certain people in your life. At this point in your life, we are the people in your life whom you trust with your biggest emotions and feelings. And I want to remember this, because I would like that to continue for a long long time. It gets really hard to handle sometimes, your big emotions. Especially with the limited communication abilities that you have. But we work hard at managing and acknowledging them as much as we can, because we know how hard it is for you too, and because we never want you to lose trust and faith in our ability to be there for you no matter what.

I never want to forget the little things.

The way you cuddle up and say "love you mummy! good night mummy!" each and every evening before bed.

The way you wake me up each morning with a big sloppy kiss on my lips and "wakey mummy! good morning mummy!"

The way you say "peese?!" (please) with your puppy dog eyes and with the hand sign for please (rubbing your chest in a circular motion with an open hand).

The way to ask us to sing "rock a bye baby" to you before bed, followed by us telling you the "thumper" story. Without fail, every single night.

The way you like to follow us around like a shadow, narrating everything you see us do or say - "daddy pooooottttt!" "mummy yaaawwwnnn" "daddy wash dishes!" "mummy cooking!".

The way you watch us with curious eyes and an active mind no matter what we're doing. Learning and absorbing all the little things, every single minute of the day.

The way you are so incredibly aware of your surroundings. How you can sit at home, hear the sirens of the ambulance in the distance and say "ambulance!". Or recognise the ducks quacking out on the lake, the dog barking downstairs, the helicopter hovering in the sky, the motorcycle engine revving out on the road, the neighbour closing the door upstairs, the washing machine vibrating upstairs, and so much more. You hear everything. The little things that we don't pay attention to, the things that are simply a part and parcel of our daily lives.

Or the way you like to add "yah!" or "okay!" behind everything you say.

It's the little things that allow me to never regret my choice to stay at home with you. To watch your grow and learn and become the little boy that you are becoming. I can never imagine missing out on any of your little nuances. Something I would never get if someone else was caring for you. And I like to think that you benefit from having the constant presence of your mother in your young life too.

You are the light in our lives, the joy we live for, the constant source of motivation we seek when the going gets tough. You've changed us in the short 2 years that you've been around, and you continue to make us want to be better. Better parents, better life partners, better people.

Other people look at you, and see a little child.

Someone who is inferior to the adults, someone who doesn't know much.

But us, as your parents, we see you and we see a little person.

A little person who seems to know the secrets of the universe and can't tell us.

A little person who works harder than anyone of us adults at understanding the people and the things around you.

A little person who is not afraid of being completely yourself.

A little person whose every action and word speaks volumes of how far you have come in such a short time on this planet. Every hug, every kiss, every word, every tantrum, every tear, represents all the tiny minute milestones you've achieved in the past 2 years. Each and every one of them were worth celebrating and cherishing.

Parenting is an unbelievably relentless job. One that just keeps on going and never ends, no matter what the day is, no matter what the time is. But looking back at the past 2 years, I will never choose to change a thing with you. You are the son we've always wanted and more.

No matter how big you get, you'll always and forever be our precious little baby boy.

I love you, little one.

Mama