4 Months

4 months today.

I still can't believe how time is flying by.

It feels like yesterday that I was stressing about his 2-month vaccines.

Today, I'm stressing about his 4-month vaccines that will be happening tomorrow morning.

All I wish for, is for it to be over quickly for him, and for there to be no major side effects.

I really REALLY don't want it to affect his new awesome night-time sleep.

Really.

It's pretty awesome.

In bed by 7pm,

up for midnight feeding anywhere between 11 and 1,

back to sleep and up for the day at 6plus am.

I can't believe I am saying this, but 5 hours of unbroken sleep feels like a full night's sleep to me right now.

It's fantabulous.

I know it's still not enough,

but it's WAY better than 2 hours of broken sleep all night.

;)

I'm saying this at the risk of jinxing myself.

But if it gets shot to hell, I'll blame it on the shots.

And tomorrow,

ah ma and little sister will be here.

I am UBER excited to finally be able to introduce my little boy to them.

It's about time!

This leaves my father as the only immediate family who hasn't met him.

Ah well.

Do I care?

Hmm.

Not really.

Another story for another day.

Or maybe later.

But for now I rejoice.

I look at the happy things happening in my life and I say thanks.

I look away from the unhappiness and the discontentment to see joy and satisfaction.

Life is about choices right?

It's about making the choice to see the sunshine peeking through the dark clouds.

Sunshine's good.

Sunshine disinfects and de-stains my cloth nappies.

Gets rid of all the shit poop stains.

[like I say to Baby X, "shit is a bad word. cannot say shit." HAH!]

:D

Hey there little one,

you are 4 months old today.

4 months ago, at this time, on this very day, I was getting an IV drip.

I was getting started on syntocinon to induce contractions because you broke my waters but still didn't wanna get moving from in there.

And I gotta tell ya, that stuff is liquid evil.

Pure evil.

But the love I had for you kept me going.

With each tidal wave of pain, came an even larger one of love.

And together we got through it.

And around this time one year ago,

I was just getting used to the idea of you being in there.

You were nothing but a seedling of hope and a twinkling of joy in our hearts.

We had big hopes and expectations for you and how our little baby would turn out to be.

And boy, did you blow it out of the giant ballpark.

You are, have been, and always will be, my little baby boy.

My first-born baby who has taught me so much about life, love and myself.

Here's to many many many many many more months and years and decades of life and love together, as one big happy family :)

I love you, to the moon and back.

And I believe I speak for your daddy as well ;)