For the love of (real) food.

Now that X is 7 months, we face a multitude of common questions from people we know and people we meet:

"is he eating solids already?"

"how much is he eating?" 

"is he still breastfeeding?"

So here's the thing.

As parents, Jude and I have a very different philosophy and set of beliefs compared to many we know, including the people who say "but that's how we did it with you and you turned out fine!"

The simple answer to those questions is:

Yes, we've starting introducing solids to X.


No, he's not eating much.


Yes, he's most definitely still breastfeeding.


Maybe it's the memories of how we've been fed when we were young. Or rather, more specifically, what I observed about how my siblings and cousins were fed. For instance, here's a standard 3 times a day meal for my baby brother when he was at Xander's age - white rice porridge cooked with dried scallops, ikan bilis stock cube, salt, soy sauce, Ajinomoto (MSG) and fish slices. Please tell me that you see something seriously wrong with that recipe for a little baby?! I won't even go into details as to why seeing that offends my sensibilities and makes me wanna kick myself for not knowing any better and cooking it on a daily basis for my brother. Yes, I was a mere 13/14 years old and I didn't know any better, but still! The older folks say but he's turned out fine. I say, don't speak too soon. When he gets to 30 and realises that his kidneys are shutting down and failing because of all the sodium overload on immature kidneys, we'll re-visit this topic again. And he is probably THE MOST picky eater I've ever met in my life. On hindsight, I do think these experiences have shaped my beliefs today, when it comes to introducing solids to my son.

We have started introducing him to solid food, but it is done without pressure to actually eat anything. I strongly believe that eating is a learned skill that babies need to master over time. It is not something that happens naturally, as breastfeeding (or bottle feeding, for that matter) does. We as adults take it for granted our skills in bringing food to our mouths, bringing the food back into our throats and actually having the muscle coordination to swallow without gagging and throwing up. It is a brand new sensation and skill for our babies and they need time to master it. As they do for everything else. Rolling, crawling, walking, talking.


My primary goal in this whole process is to achieve healthy eating habits and to cultivate an adventurous eater in him. I want him to be willing to sample all the different kinds of healthy food that is put in front of him. Vegetables and fruits and whole grains. I want him to be able to enjoy foods that I was never taught to eat. Legumes, seeds, oats, wheat, red meat. I want him to not be texture-dependent when it comes to eating. I want him to not be dependent on sodium and sugar when it comes to choosing his food.

Most importantly, I want him to continue only eating what he needs. Evolution has equipped us humans with the most basic of survival instincts - thirst and hunger. These instincts are so incredibly powerful that babies will not go hungry. They just won't starve or die of thirst as long as us as caregivers provide them with regular opportunities to eat and drink. If given the opportunity, I believe they will consume what their body inherently requires for sustenance at that particular point in time. That's the whole basis of breastfeeding, that babies will drink as much as they need and stop when they're done. All without the need for measurements and pleas from us to "finish the bottle!". There's no reason why that cannot extend to real foods. I want him to never feel the pressure to eat as much or as little as society thinks he should. I truly hope that by starting now and developing these good eating habits from the beginning, the toddler-eating-power-struggle stage will be a bit easier for us.

On a related note, did you know that decades ago, a standard hamburger only weighed 1.5 ounces and that was how much people ate. Today, the same thing weighs on average 8 ounces or more and people seem still want more. Is it that our dietary requirements have increased, or that we've been trained to ignore our own hunger instincts and are now eating way more than our body requires?

I want him to trust his instincts to eat what he needs to grow into the body he's meant to have. Not what society thinks he should have. I hope that by doing what I think is right, he will never develop food and body image issues, the same kind I had while growing up. The same kind many of us have to this very day, a quarter of a century or more after we were introduced to real foods for the very first time in our lives.

Who else out there hears their mother/father/grandmother/aunt loud and clear in their heads when presented with a mega portion of food when out for dinner which you obviously can't finish because you're too full - "Cannot waste food! Don't you know that children in Africa are starving?" or "Better make sure your plate is clean, otherwise next time your husband will have lots of pimples!" when struggling to pick up every.single.morsel.and.grain.of.rice in your bowl or plate.

It was comforting to know that there is consensus out there and even a name for this model of introducing real foods to our babies - coined Baby-Led Weaning. That and the idea of Division of Responsibility. In case you're interested, these are some of the key websites I've enjoyed learning from:


http://www.babyledweaning.com/

http://familyfeedingdynamics.com/

http://www.ellynsatter.com/

http://itsnotaboutnutrition.squarespace.com/

In introducing real solid food to X, we are starting really slow.

We've attempted baby rice cereal and he hates it. He has a very strong gag reflex and it has been that way since he was a wee one. The rice cereal set it off BIG time. And to be honest, I tried it and it truly sucks. Why people expect the little ones to enjoy it, I don't understand. I guess the fact that he's breastfed also plays a part because he is used to different flavours coming through my milk and expecting him to eat the rice cereal that's as bland as it gets, is really silly.

I've made sweet carrot puree and the texture was a no-go for him. The same thing happened with pureed pears. He gagged and threw up each time I tried to feed him any of those items. He made it really clear that he doesn't like the texture of pureed foods so why force him? We've decided to more or less go with finger foods for him to learn how to self-feed, which will enable him to regulate his intake of food.

Since then, I've made oven-baked sweet potato fries (simply cut into large batons/finger food size and toss in olive oil, then baked in oven at 200 degrees Celsius for 15 minutes) which he has enjoyed chewing on. Even his daddy loves it ;) So simple but it's jam-packed with nutrients like beta-carotene, vitamin c, vitamin a, iron, etc. I've also given him avocado, which I love and hope he'll like because it's truly a super food with incredible amounts of nutrients in it.

To be perfectly honest, he's not really eating any of it. But getting him to like the taste is a start isn't it? He doesn't have the skills to swallow the food effectively yet, but sooner or later he will and when that time comes, he'll be equipped with the taste buds to eat these foods. For now, whatever gets onto his tongue and ends up in his belly will do ;)

In the meantime, all the nutrition he needs is still coming from my breastmilk. That's all he really needs up until 12 months of age at least, and everything else is merely a bonus. After all, he's not really all that mobile and until he's running about and burning more calories every moment, he doesn't need more than that. Certainly helps that my breastmilk is constantly evolving and the more I feed him, the more the calorie content increases to suit his needs.

Admittedly, the other reason why we're taking this road less traveled is that it's a gazillion times easier. I don't have to spend time slaving in the kitchen, cooking and puree-ing foods for the little one. Finger foods are so much easier. And if he doesn't like them, we eat them. Purees go down the drain if he rejects them. And feeding time involves him in his high chair and a bunch of food on his tray and off he goes while I do my thing. Cook dinner or do the dishes or whatever. When he stops putting the food into his mouth and it's all play, meal time is over and that's that. I refuse to let myself stress about him having to finish the whole bowl of food that I prepare and such. I do think I will continue trying with certain soft baby food such as rice cereal but mixed with other stuff, just so he gets to try a variety of different textures, including the mushy ones. I'm not anti-spoon feeding by any means... I just don't want it to be the ONLY way he eats. You know?

I'm not saying that I'm perfect. Because goodness knows I've caught myself on many occasions forcing the baby to my breast, muttering under my breath "come on, you MUST be hungry! pretty please eat something!" when he clearly wasn't and would have screamed "ALL DONE MUMMY" if he had the words to do so. I catch myself mid act, immediately feel really silly and have to consciously step away, fasten my nursing bra back on and say okay, you're done, let's do something else! That's my issue and I'm trying to deal with it. And so far it's working I must say.

I know there are people who will find fault with what we're doing. But this is what is best for our family and for our boy, so that's what we're doing. At the end of the day, as long as he is well-fed, growing well and developing well, what does it matter?