Quarter of a Century.

It's June 12 2012 today. This day, I officially turn 25 years old. A quarter of a century.

You know, growing up, whenever adults asked me, "What would you like to be when you grow up?", I never knew what to say. I would give the answer that came to me first, or the answer that I know that particular adult wanted to hear. Truth is, I never had a concrete idea as to what I wanted to be when I grew up, in terms of my career and profession.

But my plan for my life has always been clear in my mind, since I was a young little girl. I would be married by 23, and have my first child by 25. The number of children I wanted fluctuated from 1 to 2 to 4, depending on how many siblings I had at that time. I used to say, "I want 2 sets of boy-girl twins!" HAHA. Erm, no thank you. My life plan did not include university studies, a career, a high-flying job, nothing. I did include a man I would love and commit to for the rest of my life, and motherhood.

So here I am, at 25, with those dreams fulfilled. I'm basking in the happiness and contentment of my life now, despite all the not-so-good parts of it. I recognise, of course, that it's time to plan ahead and have more to work towards. Another child. My degree. More. But I also know that life is in the now. When there is so much in the present, planning ahead and missing out on what's right here, right now, seems... silly.

I have dreams. To learn more. To be more. To achieve more. And those dreams will come true one day, for sure. I'm not one to let my dreams go. But for now, this is where I am now and this is where I want to be. I worked so hard to get here, I'm not about to let it slip by me and let myself look back from the future and have regrets about not enjoying the little moments.

If there is one thing I would like to have now that I don't, it would be my family and dearest friends. Living away from home and family has its perks, I will admit. I love it, for all the freedom and independence it gives me and us. But I miss having the people I love readily available around me, to enjoy my life with. Home sickness comes with the territory of living away from home, and I've grown accustomed to it. Doesn't mean I like it, but I'm getting used to it. Perhaps one day we'll reunite again. Perhaps. Who knows? But this is where life has led me to, and I refuse to dwell on the if-onlys and the what-ifs. I will be happy where I am today.

We're all drifting... and friendships that I treasure have come apart at the seams, unravelling like a loose ball of yarn. It's all a part of growing up, and all part of the new seasons of our lives. And I understand that. I mourn the loss of it, but I recognise the need to move on. And be happy. No matter what. For myself and for the friendship we shared and for the friend who no longer is. With maturity comes a little more perspective and the ability to not take things too personally I guess.

I learned a long time ago that happiness is determined by the difference between expectations and reality. So I learned that to be happy, expectations need to be kept realistic. To have them, but not to expect more than what you know is realistic. So that's my secret I think. I have no expectations for a birthday celebration. It's another at home with a toddler while the husband goes off to work. Before he left, he and Xander gave me a Pandora charm for my birthday present, which made my day because I was not expecting anything at all. Jude likes to find excuses to eat cake. So there'll be cake this evening, after dinner. And like any other day, I'll be cooking dinner. Because it makes me happy to see my boys enjoying the food that I cook. And there's nothing quite like sitting down at the dinner table together as a family, eating and chatting about our day, and watching the twinkle in the husband's eyes as he observes our little man and his antics across the table. That's all I'm expecting today, and that is what I'm sure I'll get. And that makes me happy.

And then it's full steam ahead for OB exam on Friday, and Marketing Research exam on Tuesday next week. I'm only halfway done with my revision, so there's lots more to do. But I'm not panicking. I know I can do this. I just need to do it.

I'm happy to turn 25 :) Here's to happy days and fuller lives!