21 Months

My baby boy turned 21 months old yesterday. Which also means that I need to step up to my role as memory-keeper and take the time to write this post, despite everything else that's going on.

To be completely honest, I have absolutely no idea where to even begin in this update. So much so much has changed with him in the last 2 months since I last wrote a proper update about him that he's not even the same boy he was anymore! Well, not entirely. But you know what I mean. In any case, here goes!

His abilities with speech has just gone through the roof at a pace that completely stunned us both as parents.

With many words like "orange" or "bus" with a beginning sound and an end sound, he used to just say "orrrrr" or "bah", without being about to properly add the end sound to the word. But overnight, he just got it. Like a lightbulb went off in his head while he was sleeping. He started saying "orange" and "bus" pretty much perfectly. Amongst other words of course. He can now also say his own name and use it in proper sentences like "Xander brush teeth" or "Xander eat grape".

I've been trying to keep track of his language development, but honestly I've just lost track of the number of words he can say. But I do know that he is capable of forming grammatically correct 4-word sentences, and with multiple syllabus in each word no less. If he starts saying something and the words are topsy-turvy and not grammatically correct, he immediately stops himself and starts again and keeps trying until he gets it right. It's funny because we never purposefully taught him grammar. I guess our efforts in speaking to him in full and proper sentences has paid off.

Oh and he can now say banana and coconut and papaya instead of "nana", "co nah nah" and "payaya" :p

But admittedly, I haven't been very consistent with exposing him to the Chinese language, something that I have been telling myself to do, but it's been hard to commit to it. Essentially because I'm the only chinese-speaker in our household as Jude doesn't speak Chinese. If I speak to Xander in Chinese, I feel bad about leaving Jude out. And because I'm his primary caregiver, I'm afraid that speaking to Xander in just Chinese would stunt his English language skills, which he really needs as an Australian resident. Worse if it means Xander won't be able to communicate with Jude effectively anymore. I know that, logically, these worries are unfounded and children are more than capable of picking up multiple languages with enough exposure. But the fact that he doesn't go to childcare or watch TV shows or spend much time with his daddy, means that I need to prioritise at the crucial stage of his language development. I'm trying to have faith that once Xander's verbal communication skills in his primary language is sufficient, I will be able to introduce a second language without impairing his abilities to communicate with his daddy and the rest of our immediate society. And it helps that my language teacher husband agrees :) But I still feel guilty sometimes. Oh well.

Anyway, because of his exploding speech, sign language has taken a back seat. And that's cool with me, because it has served its purpose in helping us bridge the gap between non-verbal and verbal communication. I would even go so far as to say that learning sign language has helped him tremendously with his spoken language. It has given him the confidence to actually try saying the words out loud, because with the accompanying sign language, he doesn't have to be afraid that we won't understand what he is saying so there is no fear of failure. He still remembers all his signs though and will happily show them to you if you ask him.

There are some signs that he still uses regularly because he still can't really say the words yet. He signs "machine" because he can't say it yet. He signs for "water" when he wants to drink water even though he can say "water" but that's more for the added effect I think. He also signs "hat" when he says the word, because he can't really sound out the "ha" sound at the beginning and signing it makes sure that his point gets across. He also still signs "rabbit" because he can't say it yet. Which reminds me, whenever his daddy takes the rubbish out to throw, he signs "rabbit" vigorously and no matter what we say he insists that rubbish=rabbit. So damn funny. I've decided to just leave it be, because he will understand it sooner or later. No hurry :) There's so much more but I won't bore you too much!

He is demonstrating an incredible memory, remembering things from long past that he would randomly bring up at the oddest times. About 3 months ago, he watched his daddy change a light bulb in the kitchen. Ever since then, he would occasionally look up at the ceilling and say "bulb! daddy light bulb!" while signing "boat" because to him it sounds so similar. Even now. It happens at least once a week.

About 2 months ago I sat him on my lap to Skype with my family to tell them the news about Baby E, and told him that he was talking to wai po. Now every time I open my laptop, he points to it and exclaims "wai po wai po!" Which some times come out sounding like "ah po ah po!" Haha! Erm, I don't think your wai po would be very happy being known as ah po, baby boy! :p

Back in April, which was 5 months ago now, Jude's mom and uncle PS bought him an Angry Bird soft toy when we met them in Auckland for holiday. Up to now, he still picks up the soft toy and says "ah gong! ah ma!", telling us that he remembers who gave that to him.

He is sooooo much fun to converse with now, with his verbal communication skills and memory, and his ability to comprehend the things we say to him. Like when he went to the grocer with his daddy to buy fruits and vegetables while I stayed home to do my assignments. He came home, I asked him where he went and he would tell me he went to buy oranges and apples and "cai" and cucumbers (cumber cumber!) and banana. So much fun I tell you :)

What makes it more fun is watching his personality shine through. He is cheerful and has a rather wicked sense of humour. Like when we ask him to say coconut, he says "coco.... daddy!" or "coco.... mummy!" and starts giggling at his own joke. Sometimes his humour comes through and the wrong times and we have to tell him this is not the time to be funny. And he'll say "ooookaaayyyyy".

He's also SUPER friendly, but not indiscriminately. He says "hi" to all our neighbours we meet around the apartment compound, and even to the construction workers that are working on our buildings now. He says "hi" to the nice old ladies we meet at the supermarket. But one time, we were at the train station waiting for his daddy to get back, this old lady came up to us and starting chatting, eventually working her way up to asking me for money "to buy insulin for her diabetes". And Xander REFUSED to even look at her, let alone wave or say hi. And I truly believe it's because children like him are true judges of character and their instincts don't lie. They are untainted by social norms and pre-existing opinions, and have not been trained to be courteous to everyone no matter what. And I think that's a good thing. His reluctance to be friendly to the old lady put my guard up and I made sure to be careful what I said to her. Turns out, he was right!

Oh and he can count! He understands the concept of counting from 1 to 10, although he is not 100% confident yet, but he can see 2 seagulls and say "2 seagull!". Or line up 10 bottles and say "ten bottle!".

He has also, in the last month figured out how to play music on our iPhones, by double-clicking the home button and pressing play. On my phone, the default playlist is always his Baby Einstein songs and rhymes like London Bridge or Old MacDonald or Kookaburra so he loves it. And I've decided that I'm okay with him playing that music on my phone. He is a music lover, and he knows his limits. If he accidentally gets the volume too loud, he brings the phone to me so I can turn it down for him - I only allow it to play softly so it doesn't prevent him to hearing what I say or being able to listen to the normal daily sounds around him like the birds chirping outside. He would play the music, and put the phone down next to him while he plays with his toys or flips his books, so it's not like he is staring at a screen, completely obsessed like other kids who play games and watch videos. When he has had enough, he would bring me the phone and say "off!" and I'll just turn it off for him.

Although he has recently figured out how to access the camera function by swiping the screen from bottom up and it just means I have a TON of random photos and videos on my phone of random body parts and face shots. My phone is always passcode locked, so he doesn't have access to anything else, and that is how it will remain for as long as I can help it. He did figure out my 0000 passcode though, so I had to change it. Hopefully I don't have to change it again!

He has listened to his music so much that every time the instrumental beginning of a song starts playing, he would immediately know which song it was and start singing or dancing. Like Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. He sings "head toe head toe" while touching his head and toes. Or "eieio" for Old MacDonald. Or "fall down" for London Bridge. He is like a little sponge, just picking it up so easily. And it makes my heart sing :)

Our early struggles and determination with feeding him appears to be paying off now, with him willing to eat almost everything we offer him. When it comes to dinner time, whatever we eat, he eats. Chicken, pork, tofu, fish, vegetables, brown rice, noodles, eggs, everything. Granted sometimes we have to cut it up small, especially the meats because if he has trouble swallowing he would simply spit it out. But he is never suspicious of what we feed him and always seem willing to just eat it as long as daddy and mummy are eating the same things too. And boy can this child eat. He eats like his has a hollow leg. But he is still scrawny and bony! It's genetics of course, but it can be the source of much grief with health care providers and other people who think we are not feeding him enough. That he needs more full-fat dairy. Blah blah blah. I'll have you know that he is allergic/sensitive (?) to dairy and even cooking eggs with a dollop of 100% butter makes him suffer from congestion and phlegm for the next 3 days. No thank you. No way I'm giving him cow's milk. Hopefully he outgrows his allergy/sensitivity as he gets older so he can enjoy whatever he feels like having, but for now, I'm protecting his gut however I can. He is one of the healthiest toddlers I know when it comes to eating habits and I am so proud of him and us. We are still breastfeeding despite my pregnancy, he drinks only water and herbal teas and the occasional watered-down manuka honey water, he loves fruits and vegetables more than anything else, he would eat wholegrain crackers with poppy seed and sesame seeds if I say no biscuits. And his favorite biscuits are wholemeal plain digestive biscuits - it's like the best thing on earth for him. Like I said before, diet plays such a huge role in our health and so much hinges on the first 2 years of a child's life. We have made it this far and I don't see us stopping anytime soon, when it comes to cultivating healthy eating habits.

Yikes. Wrote much more than I intended to. Oops. Alright I'll stop here. Will have to come back later to update with photos and videos - it's taking super long to upload!!!

I'll just say that my son is becoming the most amazing little boy as he grows just that little bit more each day and I am so proud and honoured to call him my boy, and to have to privilege of watching him grow. His generosity, compassion, love for life, confidence, and cheerful nature is everything I ever hoped my child would be and more. I can't wait to see what else lies ahead in store for us!