1 week old

Xander baby is 1 week old today.

On one hand, I can't believe how time is flying by with him.

And on the other hand, I can't believe that it has only been a week!

Our lives have been changed since his arrival and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in this world.

It has been one whirlwind week of peeing, pooping, puking, crying, hiccups, cuddles, kisses and lots of love.

But most importantly, the little one has had lots of alone time with mummy and daddy.

The bonding has began and it is pretty incredible.

I can no longer imagine our lives without him in it.

I don't want to ever forget this first week of his life, so I'm gonna try and remember most of it here.

Hopefully memory doesn't fail me :)

The Hospital Stay

I am grateful to have had the chance to deliver my baby boy here and in particular at Jessie Mac hospital.

First of all, I got the chance to deliver my own baby straight onto my chest.

And no one tried to take him away from me.

He opened his bright eyes and looked right at me, and at that moment, I knew I was hooked.

The powerful surge of love and pride that ran through me was the most indescribable feeling.

So powerful that I barely acknowledged Dr R sewing up my 2nd degree tear with 6 stitches without anesthetic.

He was in my arms the whole time while given a rub down by the midwife on duty,

and then a warm towel was placed over the both of us so we could continue with our cuddling without interruption.

Within the first hour, the midwife came to us and helped us with establishing breastfeeding.

And once again, watching this new little person finding his way towards me and finally latching on and suckling, it was love :)

It was more than 2 hours post-birth that we told the midwife she can take him, clean and wrap him up.

Mainly because I had to get myself cleaned up as well... taking a shower, getting changed, etc.

Even then, everything was done by my bedside and he never left my line of sight.

I was comforting to know he was right there, since I've carried him for 9 months and didn't really wanna be separated from him so soon after birth.

After I had my shower, during which Jude was the most attentive husband one could ever wish for, we settled back and just stared and marvelled at our little one for another 2 more hours, without any interruption.

He was never taken away for bathing, weighing, pricking and prodding.

He was happily snoozing in his bassinet by my bedside.

By the time we got transferred to the maternity ward for recovery,

I was so exhausted but still so high on adrenalin and hormones that I chose to leave him at the nursery for the night, just so I could get some quality rest before the whirlwind kicked in.

Just as well, because he was having some trouble keeping his body temperature up and they placed him under the heat for the night.

By the time I slept, it was midnight.

And at 1.10am, he was brought to me by the midwife on duty for his first real feed, after which he was brought back to the nursery again.

By the time I woke up at 5plus am, I was feeling fresh once again and started wondering where my baby was.

At 6plus, he was brought to me once again for his feed.

And from then onwards, he never left my side.

We were at the hospital for 4D3N, and all that time except the first night, he was rooming in with me.

That was good, as it gave me the confidence to start taking care of him on my own,

knowing that it didn't matter if he screamed all through the night because the baby next door would be doing the same.

And also knowing that help is a call-button away, I knew I could do it.

The 2nd and 3rd nights were rough.

Really rough.

My milk hadn't come in yet,

but Xander was getting increasingly hungry.

So we nursed all night.

All night between 12 midnight and 5/6 am, he would nurse every hour for half an hour.

That left me with only half an hour breaks in between to rest.

Even less if he had a wet or dirty nappy that needed changing.

But we kept going, and we survived.

He was already nursing like a pro, and we didn't have any problems with breastfeeding whatsoever.

And for that, I'm so so very grateful.

One of my biggest fears about having this baby was not being able to breastfeed for whatever reason.

I wanted it so badly and not being able to do it would have crushed my spirits.

But we did it, and it's still going strong.

After a tiring labour, not enough sleep and trying to recover from childbirth, those night were really rough.

Jude went home the first night because I was placed in a twin share room and he could not stay.

But the very next morning, he came bright and early,

bringing me a foot-long sub from Subway :)

He says he figured it would be much more appreciated than flowers.

And I have to agree :)

The man knows me way too well...

It was just what I needed :)

The 2nd night, I was transferred to a single room and he stayed the night with me because he had to go to work the next day and his workplace happens to only be 5 minutes away from the hospital.

The 3rd night, he wanted to stay with us but because we were going to go home the next morning,

he wanted to go home and get the house ready for us.

So he went home, replaced our lousy shower head in the bath, vacuumed the house (including Xander's bed) and made sure everything was ready.

First Day Home

 

We got discharged from hospital on Saturday morning after requesting for an early discharge (actual date of discharge was supposed to be Sunday),

and came straight home.

That was another milestone that will be etched in my memory for a long time to come.

The drive home with a real baby in the carseat,

climbing up the stairs to our apartment with a baby in my arms instead of in my belly,

walking through the door and coming home with a new baby...

This is when our life as parents was going to really begin.

I had barely 2 hours of sleep the night before,

but I was running on such a high that I was not feeling the least bit tired.

So I skipped my daytime naps and was bustling around the house doing stuff.

Doing what, I don't know.

But it kept me up all day.

Boy did I pay the price for it that night.

First night home was tough.

Really really tough.

My milk was just coming in and the little one was having a hard time adjusting to the change in his diet.

He spent the night alternating between feeding, whining, peeing and passing very watery stool.

At one point we got worried and called the maternity ward and asked the midwife for advice.

That was 3am in the morning.

We were told that it's normal and there's nothing to worry about.

This too shall pass, apparently.

Something to do with his digestive system struggling to keep up with the change in his diet from my colostrum to actual milk.

That was the night we camped out in the living room because he seemed to feel better sleeping on the rocker which is slightly upright and not completely flat.

The Breastfeeding Experience So Far...

My milk coming in on Day 4 was quite an experience.

My boobs swelled to enormous proportions that amazed Jude to no end (still does).

If I have to guess, they are an E-cup right now, or at least a DD.

Well, that's the size of my nursing bras and they seem to be quite snug.

Considering I was a little B-cup before, impressive :)

But it comes with its own downfalls as well...

They hurt!!!

They are rock hard and painful to even touch.

The only time they get some relieve and don't hurt as bad, is when Xander is nursing.

Odd huh?

I used to think that the act of nursing would hurt the most (I mean, someone's chomping on your nipples!),

but little did I know that not nursing would hurt even more!

Remember how I said I can't wait to sleep on my tummy?

Well, tummy's not there anymore, but I still can't do it cos the boobs are in the way :(

Nevertheless, I am thoroughly enjoying my nursing experience.

Being able to provide nutrition and food to the little person I nurtured in me for so long is gratifying.

Knowing I'm giving him the best start to life possible is the best feeling ever :)

I love how he has to snuggled up close to me to nurse.

I love how nursing takes at least an hour each time (much longer than bottle-feeding) and that gives me that much time to stare at the perfect little being we created, marveling at his perfect little face, those little baby hands and feet.

After 9 months of carrying him within me and being completely connected to each other,

it's a wonderful feeling to still have that one little physical bond between us now :)

One other thing I was worried about was how breastfeeding would change Jude's perception of my boobs... whether he'll find it weird and completely unsexy anymore.

But turns out, my worries have been completely unfounded.

Unless he's lying through his teeth to me, but I highly doubt so :)

He finds it absolutely fascinating to watch me nurse our son,

and he thinks there's nothing cuter than our baby breastfeeding.

He says he can share :)

It hardly fazes him to see me "whip it out" at any time if our son is fussing for food.

I love how convenient breastfeeding is :)

No bottles to sterilise and wash,

no formula to prepare while a screaming baby fusses at 3am in the morning,

no need to spend tons of cash at the supermarket for baby formula.

Right now, when I wake up in the middle of the night with Xander crying in hunger,

all I have to do is pull down my top and latch him on and he settles down to feed immediately.

No groping around in the dark, with sleepy eyes, boiling water and mixing formula.

I love :)

*fingers crossed*

I've started producing more milk than the little one's appetite can keep up with, 

so whenever possible I express milk so that we have some for back up in the fridge and Jude can also experience feeding his son from the bottle.

Sometimes I sit there using a manual breast pump to pump milk out from my boobs and I feel completely unattractive and simply cow-like.

But he still looks on with fascination, making me feel better :)

Something about the act of me nurturing our son I guess.

But yes, breastfeeding is great and the kiddo is nursing like a champ.

All I wish for now is for this to keep going...

hopefully my body cooperates and keeps on producing enough for the little one.

The Little One

Put simply, and at the risk of jinxing myself, we have a dream baby.

Save for those couple of nights when he was fussy cos of the feeding,

he has been a wonder to take care of.

He has some what settled into a routine of his own already, which is pretty amazing :)

He sleeps like a baby in his giant crib for about 2-3 hours at a time.

We know when he's awake cos we'd hear little baby noises and grunting coming from his room.

No crying or screaming most of the time.

He'd know when we pick him up that it's time for a feed and he'll root around for the nipple furiously until he turns all red in the face.

He'd feed for about 20 minutes on one side, and at the same time poop and pee in his diaper.

When he's done with that first side, he'd break away on his own and give a large sigh, then pout his lips tightly so we can't shove it back into his mouth.

Then he'd refuse to feed anymore until we change his dirty diaper.

So we change for him, and I've lost count of how many times he pooped and peed on both me and Jude while we're changing his diapers.

Sometimes we go through 3 diapers at a single change session simply because he kept on dirtying the fresh new ones we put under his bum.

Thankfully the diapers we're using now are from a free pack of 144 Huggies from the hospital.

When we are done changing his diaper (which he completely detests and screams bloody murder each time), 

we swaddle him up nice and tight and feed him on the other boob.

When he's done with that, we burp him and he falls right asleep.

Sometimes he fusses abit more and wants to continue feeding after like a 5 minute break, 

but otherwise, he's good to go :)

The most wonderful thing about this little one is that he is completely comfortable with being laid down in his crib still awake,

and he'll just fall asleep on his own after we walk out of the room and leave him alone.

No fussing, no crying.

He's a good baby :)

At night he fusses abit more, not sure why, but it doesn't take me more than 1-1.5 hours to feed, change and settle him each time he wakes up.

I strongly believe this is the direct result of not having a whole lot of people around holding him and fussing over him.

He gets over-stimulated so easily and the more we carry him and handle him, the crankier he gets.

He's happiest just swaddled up and lying down in his crib, inspecting his surroundings until he falls asleep.

Fine by us ;)

I know that in time to come as he grows older and becomes more active and alert, things will change.

But in the meantime I'm just gonna enjoy his newborn baby-ness and take full advantage of his laid back nature :)

Oh and did I mention he LOVES his baths?

He starts screaming once we strip him and remove his diapers,

but the moment he is lowered into the warm bath water,

a look of bliss comes over his face and he just chills.

It's wonderful to watch :)

One of these days we'll take a video of this and post it :)

The Daddy

I believe this guy was born to be a daddy.

The way he handles the little one says it all.

I love the way he talks to Xander when he's awake and how Xander perks up at the sound of his voice.

He always worried about how he's gonna be able to hold our baby because babies always seemed so fragile to him and he never had any experience with holding babies before this.

But again, his worries were unfounded because he took to it like fish to water.

His big steady hands keep our baby boy feeling safe and secure,

and for some reason whenever I can't get him to burp for me after a feed,

all I have to do is hand him over to his daddy and he would almost immediately burp.

He makes an effort to be a helping hand at every feed and change session,

and when I get too tired, he'll help me settle the little one.

His worries about not knowing how to swaddle baby were also totally unfounded,

because he has a magic touch with it...

Baby boy would quieten down each time he gets swaddled by daddy :)

I love them both :)

Ok that's it for now.

Gotta go!