Life is Now.

Was talking to baby the other day, after a visit from some friends sparked some thoughts.

We were asked about our plans for the future.

What we're gonna do about our future.

You know, things like house, more kids, jobs, etc.

We looked at each other and simply shrugged, saying we'll take things as they come.

Now, for people who know me well enough,

you'll know that I'm the biggest stickler for well-laid plans.

I'm a horrendously anal planner.

I plan for everything.

I plan way ahead of everything.

For example, I plan for my exam revisions way ahead of time,

with handwritten timetables for myself detailing each and every single day from now till then,

with my days broken down into 30 minute intervals,

with each block specifically allocated to specific revision tasks or break time.

That's the kind of planner I am.

I've always planned to look ahead.

To think about what I'm working towards,

and to have a plan for working towards that goal(s).

But recently, 

I've learned that life is now.

It is not in the future,

it was not in the past.

It is now.

What does the past and the future matter,

if we don't get the the now right?

Case in point.

I've spent years planning and yearning for this little one we have before our eyes today.

I really really don't wanna miss the little moments with him,

by spending my time planning for the far-ahead future.

The future that is yet unknown and will always be unpredictable.

Baby said something that resonated with me...

He said if tomorrow the 3 of us were to drive out on a shopping trip,

and unfortunately we get mowed down by a drunk truck driver on the road,

all that time we spent planning will be wasted on a future that will never be.

To me, I just thought,

if that were to happen,

in the face of imminent death,

what will come through my mind?

The future?

Nope.

It'll be the times that I've experienced, 

the little moments that have come to past,

and the regrets that will follow for missing and not living in those moment.

Okay, morbid I know, but you get my point.

If I have to name one single lesson that this little one has taught me in the last almost-6 weeks of his existence in my life,

it would have to be that life happens.

Nothing will go as planned all the time,

and most of the time,

even the best laid plans will crumble in the face of life happening.

When life happens,

it never is within your realm of control.

Sometimes not even within your realm of expectations.

You just gotta go with the flow,

and prepare yourself for whatever may come.

The conception of this little one didn't happen as planned.

We thought we were in control,

and that it would happen when we say we wanted it to happen.

But life happened.

And it threw us a curve-ball that we just had to make a detour to catch.

It wasn't so bad,

because we ended up here.

With a lovely little bundle of joy and many important life lessons learnt in the process.

The birth of this little one didn't happen as planned.

I thought I was in control,

and that it would happen the way I wanted it to.

Natural, unmedicated, intervention-free.

But life happened.

And a new life is here.

Did it matter that I had no control over what happened and how it happened?

I guess not.

At the end of the day,

here we are.

Right now,

with a newborn baby in the household,

not one thing is going as planned.

I can't even plan for the next 2 hours, 

let alone further ahead.

Half the time, 

I don't know if and when I'll get to brush my teeth, shower, use the toilet, eat my lunch, do the laundry, or even sleep.

I can plan to iron the clothes today,

but whether I'll actually get to do it or not,

we'll see.

Life just happens,

whether we like it or not.

All I can do now is go with the flow,

in this case, Xander's flow,

and deal with things as they come.

What's the point in planning when chances are, it won't come to fruition?

Of course I'm not taking away from the importance of planning.

We need to have a plan for our future..

where we wanna be at certain points in our lives.

We need to plan to ensure our son will be well-provided for as he is growing up under our care.

We need to plan to ensure he'll be able to go to university and get the education he wants without having to worry about affordability.

Heck, I would like to be able to plan when we'll be receiving visitors and how we're gonna handle it then.

But doesn't mean I have to obsess about these plans the way I used to.

And really, if I plan and it doesn't exactly go as planned,

I'll be okay.

We'll all be okay.

Bottom line is that life is now.

It is not later.

It is not tomorrow.

It is now.

Live in the now and you won't regret in the future.

At this point in my life,

it's not the little things that count that much anymore.

It's the little one that does.