4DPO

I find myself sitting very still, with my hand on my tummy, and imagining a tiny group of cells (i.e. my little one) moving gradually down my fallopian tube and into my uterus. For reasons unbeknown to me my hands tend to favour the left side... does that mean my baby is coming from there this time? Who knows? If everything goes according to plan, next week will be the week that implantation starts happening. And I will find myself visualising the implantation process in my uterus at least a few times each day. It's a peaceful process and helps me get in touch with myself, thinking about nothing else but me and my growing baby.

I've decided that if this little one doesn't stick this cycle, I will keep my head held high and keep trying. It is not my fault and though I will likely be bitterly disappointed and upset, what does not kill me will only make me stronger. I will attribute it to bad eggs that have accumulated over the past 8 months and did not get released, and/or bad lining also accumulated over the past 8 months and did not get flushed out properly with my rather surprisingly short period in Dec 09. It's probably not the best of environments for my little one to embed him/herself in and it isn't meant to be.

But until that happens, there is still an immense amount of hope that I'll hold on for dear life to.

Hey there, little one.

Mummy is thinking about you and hoping you'll have a safe journey into my uterus.

As usual, be safe and be strong...