16 weeks and Happy Father's Day!

Yesterday was a lousy and unproductive day.

No studying successfully completed whatsoever.

Added to that was my weepiness that I shall blame completely on my hormones.

I cried maybe 3 times yesterday.

The first day of my first weekend alone was an epic failure.

Sigh.

Then baby got upset at me for not eating well and still continuing to lose weight even though I'm 4 months pregnant now.

Sorry :(

Maybe I'm just one of those lucky women who don't put on weight when pregnant? *wishes hopefully*

So this morning, I woke up determined to make today a better day.

I ate my breakfast, my lunch, and I decided to make myself a proper meal for dinner.

On the menu is bak kut teh, with mee sua and choy sum.

:)

So determined I was that the first thing I did this morning was to go to the supermarket and bought myself some pork ribs.

Plus some mandarin oranges and yakult (stupid constipation) and juice and mentos and chocolates.

Oh and laundry powder and nissin cup noodles cos they were on offer and cheap cheap!

So yes.

If my conviction and determination lasts till dinner time tonight,

I'll be having a healthy meal of bak kut teh mee sua, complete with vegies and fresh oranges.

There will probably be enough bak kut teh leftover for round 2 tomorrow, so that settles lunch tomorrow :)

The washing up after is depressing me, but I'll get over it.

Is it too early to be proud of myself now?

The little one is 16 weeks today!

Wow.

I never thought I'd make it this far.

But I did :)

*pats myself on the back*

I'm still petrified of losing this little one on a daily basis,

and I'm still having nightmares.

I hate having nightmares when I just jump awake to an empty bed beside me, with no one to hug me and tell me shhh... it's just a bad dream baby...

Didn't help that I read somewhere that late term miscarriages happen mostly around 16 weeks.

Scares me shitless to think about what ifs... what if my waters start leaking, what if i start bleeding, what if...

This terrifies me because I'm alone and would have absolutely no clue what to do.

Will baby stop loving me?

But it seems the little one is pretty content in there,

turning somersaults at random times of day and night.

Maybe this baby will grow up to be a dancer with his/her long arms and legs.

Not sure how the daddy will feel about that though, especially if we have a son.

Hah!

So for now, I'm constantly on the look-out (or rather, feel-out) for movements in my tummy that's not bowel related, to reassure myself that the baby is still actively growing.

It's kinda stressful because I can't really feel every single thing yet cos after all, baby is only the size of my open hand.

Just gotta tell myself to not freak out if I don't feel anything for a while.

Maybe I just need to learn to trust my body to do what it knows best and stop worrying so much.

Oh well, the worrying never ends with parenthood does it?

Random facts: 

Did you know the little one will have developed his/her own set of unique fingerprints by this week? 

And that the baby's eyes can now move around and sense light? (time to test that theory with a torchlight on my belly? ;))

Oh and also the baby can hear sounds now? Especially loud noises? Maybe I can try turning on the hair dryer to make the little one jump if I don't feel him/her move. Haha! (evil laughter.....)

Cool huh? :)

Ok time to stop procrastinating and get back down to business.

Fingers crossed I can get something done today.

And because of my mummy dearest, all I can think about now is ba zhang, ba zhang and more ba zhang.

:'(

I wanna eat all the ba zhangs that my grandmamas have made.... 

Baby said he'll show his solidarity to me by boycotting ba zhang.

But I don't trust him. hmph.

Oh and apparently his solidarity stance doesn't extend to everything else like chicken rice and stuff. HMPH.



I just realised also that it's father's day today.
So to my daddy, happy father's day!

And the daddy of the little one, happy father's day to you too :)

Like I said in my SMS to you, I don't care that you think this doesn't apply to you yet.

I think it does.

So happy father's day my dearest husband!

You will make the awesomest daddy to our babies... I just know it!

They would be the luckiest creatures around to be able to call you daddy.

This time next year, Baby A would be bouncing on your knee like you always imagined, and I'll train baby  to give you a wet sloppy kiss ;)

How special would that be? :D

I love you husband!